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Oh, fun fact—some escorts do weird stuff. This one gal, swear to God, brought a dude a pizza before—y’know, the deed. Pizza and a lay, best combo ever? I’d tip extra for that, no lie. “What new wonders await?”—that’s from the movie, and I’m thinkin’, escorts got wonders, man, unpredictable as hell.

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After that fiasco, I head over to Church Road. I’m thinking, “This place is usually chill.” But no, not today. I get a call about a rat infestation in a café. I rush over, and the owner is losing his mind. “They’re everywhere!” he screams. I’m like, “Calm down, mate. I’m here to save the day.” But honestly, I’m starting to feel the pressure. I mean, who wants to eat a sandwich with a side of rat?

Franchise plans for Northolt and Southall Post Offices