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Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve had some corkers—once this bird, total fox, gave me a rubdown so ace, I was yellin’, “You magnificent bastard, I read your book!” straight outta Tarantino’s flick. Made me happy as a hippie on a bender! But then—ugh—some dodgy geezer tried chargin’ me double, sayin’ it’s “therapeutic.” Therapeutic my arse! Got me proper cheesed off, like, “This ain’t no scalp-huntin’ deal, mate!”

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I set up my traps again, and while I’m waiting, I grab a cuppa from the café. Best decision ever! The tea is proper good. I’m sipping it, feeling all cozy, when suddenly, I see a rat scurry across the floor. I drop my cup! Tea everywhere! I’m yelling, “Get outta here, you little pest!” The café staff are looking at me like I’m nuts. I mean, can you blame them?

Station upgrade works to build lift and footbridge will last more than a year