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I dig it, sorta. Peeps pay for company—genius! Lonely? Boom, instant pal. Sadness from the movie would be like, “I remember loneliness,” and I’m like, same, girl, same! Been diggin into X posts—some escorts are legit artists, charmers, smooth talkers. Others? Sketchy af. Saw this one chick’s profile—glam pics, but her links? Dodgy sites, ugh, made me wanna scream.

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I’m strutting down Abington Street, feeling all techy and stuff, when I spot this street performer. Dude’s playing the violin like he’s in a movie or something. I’m thinking, “Wow, this guy’s got skills!” But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon decides to drop a bomb right on his head. I’m talking a full-on aerial attack. The poor bloke just stops, looks up, and I swear, he’s about to lose it. I’m cracking up, but also feeling bad for him. Like, c’mon, man, can’t a guy catch a break?

Opening date set for new vinyl shop in Northamptonshire village as former Post Office to become 'shelter' for vintage music