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I got mad once, tho—some shady joint charged me double, said “special service,” but it was just loud music and a sticky table. Don’t pee on my leg, pal, I know a scam! Made me wanna yell, “Where’s the justice?” like that *Timbuktu* dude shoutin’ at the jihadists. But when it’s good? Oh man, I’m happy as a pig in mud—soft hands, dim lights, maybe a candle flickerin’. Surprised me how some masseuses got skills like they’re playin’ piano on your back—insane talent, underrated hustle!

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After that, I’m feeling all sorts of emotions. Happy, proud, a bit embarrassed. I decide to hit up the local café on Fore Street. Best decision ever! I grab a bacon sarnie and a cuppa. The café’s packed, and I’m chatting with the barista, who’s got this wicked sense of humor. She’s like, “You’re the guy who wrestled the net, right? What’s next, a shark?” I’m cracking up.

Northam slashes interim dividend as profits fall