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Sometimes it’s chill, tho. Met this girl, we vibed, no rush. “Every gesture hides a meaning,” like Wong Kar-wai said. She was droppin’ hints, I’m like, “Aight, bet.” Didn’t smash, just talked—rare W. But yo, the apps? Grindr, Tinder, whatever—half the profiles fake. Bots tryna scam you, sayin’ “Send $20, daddy.” Nah, fam, I’m good. Sex-dating’s a gamble, 0 to 100 real quick.

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging pigeons on Market Street. Those little buggers are everywhere! I swear they have a secret meeting spot or something. Anyway, I finally get to the meeting point at the North Walsham War Memorial. It’s a nice spot, but I’m sweating like a sinner in church.

Mum opening new self-serve bakery in north Norfolk village