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Oi, mate, I’m Loki—yep, *that* Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today I’m yor baker, mixin’ dough and dirty thoughts bout sexual-massage! Ya know, that steamy, slippery goodness that’s half-relaxation, half—“oh, gods, what’s happenin’ here?!” I’m picturin’ it now, some dimly lit room, oil slicker than Thor’s ego, hands kneadin’ ya like I knead bread—except, ya know, *naughtier*.

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Man, what a day! I swear, if I had a quid for every crazy thing that happened, I’d be rich. So, I’m a mechanic, right? Just your average grease monkey in North Shields. You know, fixing motors, getting my hands dirty, all that jazz. But today? Today was somethin’ else.

North Shields in the 1980s: 10 photos of the North Tyneside town four decades ago