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This one time, dude botched it—too rough! Pissed me off—growled loud, “I’m not your punching bag!” Reminded me of Two-Face—half good, half crap. But when it’s right? Rarrgh! Pure bliss, “I’m the king of Gotham!” energy. Oil’s key—keeps it slick, no friction burns, ew. Pro tip: dim lights, soft tunes—sets the mood quick. Surprised me how some masseuses sneak in happy endings—sketchy! Not my jam—keep it legit, ya know?

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Finally, I get to the fields near the Humber Bridge. Man, the view is sick! I stop for a sec, just to take it in. The river’s glistening, and I’m feelin’ all philosophical. “Life’s like this field,” I think. “You gotta plow through the crap to get to the good stuff.” Deep, right?

Shock, heartbreak and anger: North Ferriby and Hessle in turmoil as girl stabbed in chest, back and neck