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But real talk—it’s a jungle out there. Gotta watch for creeps, liars, and clingy types who say “just sex” then text ya 50 times. “Love seeks the rose,” Malick whispers in that movie—well, sex-dating’s more like seekin’ the thorn, if ya ask me. I’m Loki, tho—I thrive on that shit. Stir the pot, watch ‘em squirm. Ever try it? Spill yer guts, mate—what’s yer take? Oh, and if ya snag a hottie, don’t fuck it up—rare as a good mischief, that is! “I am burdened with glorious purpose”—and that’s to spill this tea, chaotic and raw!

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After the drama, we finally get back inside. I’m sweating bullets, but the crowd’s pumped. They’re all like, “That was intense!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, but I’m the one who had to sign that mess!”

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