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Aight, real talk—sex-dating’s a lab experiment gone rogue. You got pheromones flyin’, oxytocin tryna trick ya into feelin’ somethin’. I seen it, bruh—dudes out here actin’ like they Casanova, but they just horny peptides. Chicks too, playin’ games, postin’ thirst traps—shit’s a catalyst for disaster! Back in the day, I matched this girl, right? Profile said “loves nature,” but she ghosted me after I sent a pic of my pet lizard—fuckin’ rude, yo! Made me mad as hell, like, what’s wrong with my iguana, bitch?

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Anyway, I finally get my drink and head to the office. The traffic on the A27 was a nightmare. I mean, come on! It’s like everyone decided to drive at 10 mph today. I’m stuck behind this ancient car that looks like it’s been through the wars. I’m thinking, “Is this a car or a relic?”

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