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Last time I rolled through one—don’t judge, bro—it was nuts. Neon lights flashin’, bouncer eyein’ me like I’m trouble. I’m Apollo freakin’ Creed, I must break you! Felt like a champ walkin’ in. Girls chattin’ me up, all smooth. One chick, swear, looked like she could dodge my jab—quick as hell! “What’s your name?” I ask. “Sybil,” she says, winkin’. Sybil? Like the movie? Nah, man, I’m trippin’. Got me happy, though—vibes were good.

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So, I get home, and what do I find? My flatmate has eaten the last slice of pizza. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I can’t even. I just flop onto the couch, grab the remote, and zone out.

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