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What pisses me off? Dudes judgin’ escorts like they ain’t out here workin’ harder than a broke comedian at an open mic. I’m HAPPY tho—happy as hell—cuz escorts bring chaos to order, flip the script on boring-ass nights. Surprised me too, fam—once heard this escort in Vegas saved a dude’s life by givin’ him CPR mid-date. CPR! She’s out here bangin’ AND breathin’ life back into fools. Iconic.

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So, I’m trying to enjoy my food, but the music’s blasting. It’s some local band, and they’re actually pretty good. I’m vibing, but then I notice this guy trying to dance. He’s got two left feet, and I’m dying. I mean, I’m no dancer, but c’mon!

South London tennis club threatened with closure is less than £3k away from fundraising target