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But then, some folks misuse it, and that pisses me off, doc! They think it’s just a fancy word for somethin’ sleazy. No way, man! It’s about trust, connection, not just, “Hey, gimme a happy ending!” Ugh, that’s so lame. In “Amour,” they’re all delicate, “You still have some time,” but with sexual-massage, it’s like, use that time wisely, ya feel me?

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a crisis here!” But he goes on about some wild party in the area. I’m like, “Yeah, sounds fun, but I’m stuck in traffic!”

Newtownabbey: M2 drivers warned of potential danger at Sandyknowes roundabout