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About Leeds

So, I’m sippin’ my martini, watchin’ this escort scene, and it’s a right mix of posh and gritty. These lasses, they’re pros, not some dodgy street walkers – think high-class, champagne vibes, but with a twist of danger. Makes me happy, seein’ them own it, but pissed me off too – blokes treatin’ ‘em like toys. Ain’t right. Surprised me, though, diggin’ into it – did ya know Cleopatra herself was basically an escort-queen hybrid? Rulin’ empires, shaggin’ generals – what a legend!

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Then, I get a call. My mate’s in trouble. He’s locked himself outta his flat on Mill Street. I’m like, “Seriously, how do you even manage that?” So I rush over, tools in hand. I get there, and he’s just standing there, looking all sheepish. I’m thinking, “You’re lucky we’re mates.”

Police confirm why Newtown bypass was closed over the weekend