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So, sex-dating—apps, hookups, all that jazz. It’s quick, dirty, and damn convenient. Ya want a date? Boom, five minutes, some dude’s at your door. Makes me laugh, tho—back in my day, ya had to whisper sweet nothings at church to get a peck. Now? “Send nudes” is hello. Ain’t that a trip? Got me shook, fam! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ tea, thinkin’—what’s next, sex robots at the altar?

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First off, I decided to hit up the local café, The Mearns Café. You know, the one on the corner of Eastwoodmains Road? I was craving a bacon roll and a strong cuppa. But guess what? They were outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s a breakfast café! I was fuming. I mean, who runs outta bacon? I ended up with a sad little veggie option. Ugh.

Council receives final handover of 105 affordable homes in Newton Mearns