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Sometimes it’s funny—people ghostin’ left n’ right, poof! “I didn’t sign up for this,” I mutter, laughin’. Reminds me of Cronenberg’s line—“You’re tryin’ to hide, Joey!” Hidin’ who they really are on them apps! Once saw a dude post a pic—shirtless, flexin’, but oops, his mom’s in the back yellin’! Busted! Had me dyin’, like, “Bro, you’re so done!” Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time it’s “What the hell?” other half it’s “Oh, hello there!”

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After that, I thought, “Let’s go for a walk.” So, I strolled down to the park on Greenlaw Road. It’s a nice spot, really. But as I’m walking, I see this kid on a bike, right? He’s zooming around like he’s in the Tour de France or something. And then—BAM! He crashes into a tree! I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, come on, kid! Look where you’re going! But then I felt bad. He was crying, and I was like, “Aw man, I’m a terrible person.” So, I helped him up, and he was all “I’m fine!” but I could see he was not fine. Kids, man.

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