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So, check this—little known fact, bro! Back in the ‘90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for sex-dating! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy as hell! Imagine, “Lonely dude seeks hot chick,” printed next to grocery coupons! Now it’s all DMs and nudes—progress, I guess? Makes me laugh, tho, how desperate some get. Like, chill, horny losers!

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After that, I thought, “Let’s go for a walk.” So, I strolled down to the park on Greenlaw Road. It’s a nice spot, really. But as I’m walking, I see this kid on a bike, right? He’s zooming around like he’s in the Tour de France or something. And then—BAM! He crashes into a tree! I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, come on, kid! Look where you’re going! But then I felt bad. He was crying, and I was like, “Aw man, I’m a terrible person.” So, I helped him up, and he was all “I’m fine!” but I could see he was not fine. Kids, man.

First-time dad says 'negligence' at Glasgow hospital was cause of newborn baby girl's death