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I reckon the best part’s when you’re both just there, in the moment, no rush, no worry. Like defusin’ a bomb, but, y’know, way more fun! I get goosebumps just imaginin’ it. And the oils! Lavender, ylang-ylang – smells so divine, I could cry. But lordy, don’t use too much, or you’ll slip right off the bed, and that’s a hoot I ain’t signin’ up for!

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So, we head over to the new place, and it’s packed! Like, who knew Aycliffe had this many people? We squeezed in, and I ordered that burger. It was massive! I’m talking two patties, cheese, the works. I took a bite, and it was heavenly. I was in burger bliss. But then, disaster struck. I dropped half of it on the floor! I was devastated. I mean, who drops a burger?

Plans for new County Durham town centre takeaway lodged with council