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So, escort—Ford banged it out back in ‘68, lil’ known fact, started in Europe, not even ‘Merican at first! Blew my mind when I heard that—thought it was Texas-born or somethin’. Fooled me once, shame on—well, ya know, won’t get fooled again! I’m tellin’ ya, buddy, this car’s got grit—ain’t no strategery to it, just gas and go. Makes me happy as a hog in mud, ‘cept when the tranny slips—pissed me off once, stalled out near Crawford. Yelled, “This ain’t no Tenenbaum teamwork!”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Central Avenue. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They were outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s a café, not a vegan retreat! I was fuming. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon?

Plans for new children’s home on site of former County Durham fire station approved