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But man, it ain’t all glory. Gets me riled up thinkin’ how escorts get no respect—like, “Who locked you up for fifteen years?” Nobody, but they’re still stuck trailin’ some jerk who don’t say thanks. I’d be madder’n a wet hen if I was them. Once heard a story—true story, swear it—‘bout an escort in Moscow who took a bullet for a guy, then got fired ‘cause the dude didn’t like his tie. What a jackass! Surprised me so bad I near choked on my pretzel.

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Around lunchtime, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the harbor. The boats are bobbing, and the seagulls are squawking like they own the place. I grab a pasty from that little shop on the corner of South Quay. Best pasties in town, no contest. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven. But then, I see a seagull eyeing me. I swear, those birds are like ninjas. One second, they’re chilling, the next, they’re swooping in for your food. I’m dodging it like I’m in a spy movie.

Newquay bar responds to claims five women were 'spiked'