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Oh, and the typos—bloody hell, autocorrect’s a wench! Swear I typed “hey cutie,” came out “hey cuttle”—fishy flirtin’, aye? Sex-dating’s a mess, a joy, a jest—thou takest the plunge, or thou’rt left wonderin’. “The truth is out there,” like in *Zodiac*, but here it’s sweaty, sloppy truth! What say thee, mate? Jump in or nah?

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Around lunchtime, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the harbor. The boats are bobbing, and the seagulls are squawking like they own the place. I grab a pasty from that little shop on the corner of South Quay. Best pasties in town, no contest. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven. But then, I see a seagull eyeing me. I swear, those birds are like ninjas. One second, they’re chilling, the next, they’re swooping in for your food. I’m dodging it like I’m in a spy movie.

Newquay branch reopens after four week closure to increase capacity is completed