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Love the sneaky side, though—keeps me guessin’. Like in *Caché*, “What’s hidden there?”—another line I nicked. They’re all masks, escorts are. One minute sweet as pie, next they’re nickin’ your gold. Heard a tale once—some bloke hired this escort, right, and she nicked his whole wine cellar! Turned up next day like, “Oh, sorry, love, wrong house!” Cheeky cow! Had to laugh, didn’t I? Still, gets me blood boilin’ when they act holier-than-thou. You’re peddlin’ flesh, not savin’ the realm—own it!

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Then, I decide to hit up the Newhaven Fort. I mean, it’s a must-see, right? I’m wandering around, and it’s all cool and historical. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of tourists just stares. I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.” Totally embarrassed, but whatever. I get up, dust myself off, and keep exploring.

Feathered fun at Newhaven Fort with WWII-themed falconry event