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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sex escorts, yeah? Wild world out there. Been around the block, seen some shit, and lemme tell ya, it’s a mixed bag. Like, I’m talkin’ high-class escorts, the kind that roll up lookin’ like they own MI6—all glamour, no fuss. Makes me happy, y’know? Classy birds who know their game. Reminds me of *Eternal Sunshine*— “Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.” These girls? They forget the blunders, keep it smooth.

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After the fort, I’m feeling a bit peckish again. So, I wander over to the fish market on the quay. The smell hits me like a wave. I’m not even mad, though. I grab some fresh fish and chips. Best decision ever! I sit by the water, munching away, and it’s like heaven. I could eat this every day.

Newhaven's SCFL play-off bid is over after defeat to Peacehaven and Telscombe