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Sometimes I’m like—damn, Joey, you’re a genius for this! Other times, I’m thinkin’—whoa, too much, too much! Funny thing—my buddy tried it, got so relaxed he fell asleep! Mid-massage! I’m laughin’, like “Dude, you’re killin’ me!” Total fail, but hilarious. Anyway, sexual-massage? It’s the real deal—intense, sneaky, leaves ya goin’ “How you doin’?” to the mirror after. Try it, swear you won’t regret it!

Testimonials

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Man, what a day! I swear, I’ve seen it all in Newcastle-upon-Tyne. Woke up early, like 5 AM early, to hit the Quayside. You know, the place with the fancy bridges and all that? The Tyne Bridge is a beauty, but lemme tell ya, it was freezing! I’m talkin’ proper cold, like my ex’s heart.

Racist thug smashed takeaway window and yelled abuse after being refused service