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Like, did ya know – some escorts in history were spies? Total ninjas, sneakin’ secrets in bed! Blows my mind, dude. I’m sittin’ here, happy as hell, thinkin’ – imagine bangin’ a spy! What a rush! Tho, gotta say, makes me mad too – why’s society gotta judge ‘em? They’re hustlin’, livin’, whatever.

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So, I’m there, rod in hand, ready to catch some fish. But nah, the fish were like, “Nah mate, not today!” I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a right muppet, and then it starts to drizzle. Just my luck, right? I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this seagull swoop down and snatch a chip from some poor bloke’s hand. I couldn’t help but laugh. Those birds are savage, man!

Chelsea wins and Newcastle draws to tighten top-five race as United loses again in Premier League