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So these Escorts, man, they’re sneaky lil’ buggers. Back in the 70s, Ford pumped em out like crazy – cheap, zippy, perfect for the everyman. Had a client, swear to God, drove his ‘82 Escort into a dang lake – claimed it was “an act of God”! I was like, “naw, dude, that’s an act of dumbass.” Made me mad as hell – tryna scam me? Get outta here! But I laughed later, guy was a total nutjob. Paid out zilch, tho – fool me once, see?

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By now, I’m feelin’ a bit tipsy, so I wander over to the Sage. That place is a music venue, and I can hear some tunes spillin’ out. I’m not even sure who’s playin’, but I’m dancin’ like a fool outside. I mean, who cares, right? It’s Newcastle!

North East summer job vacancies up for grabs from festival bar staff to airport workers