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Rarrgh! So yeah, escort’s a trip—nuts, dull, epic, all mixed. Like Wolf of Wall Street—highs and lows, baby. Tell ya what, tho—next time, I’m pickin’ the boat!

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But then, one of ‘em spills his drink all over me. I’m like, “Oi! Watch it, mate!” He just laughs and says, “You’ll be fine, it’s just a bit of ale!” I mean, come on! I’m soaked, and he’s actin’ like it’s a joke. I was fumin’! But then, I see the look on his face, and I can’t help but chuckle. It’s hard to stay mad in this city, ya know?

Brighton 1-1 Newcastle, Brentford 4-3 Manchester United and more: Premier League – as it happened