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Oi, mateys, gather 'round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been thinkin’ ‘bout them brothels lately—yar, them houses o’ negotiable affection! Seen a few in me wild days, sailin’ ports from Tortuga to Singapore. Picture this: smoky dens, lasses in frilly garters, rum flowin’ like the tide. Reminds me o’ that flick I fancy, *Almost Famous*—y’know, “It’s all happenin’!” Brothels got that same chaos, that rock’n’roll vibe, but with more… horizontal dancin’, aye?

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We are certified in Chinese traditional massage, offering you Head Massage, Foot Massage and Full Body Massage. Plus a host of other oriental treatments.

After a few more pints, we decide to head down to the Quayside again. The view of the river at night is just stunning. The lights reflectin’ off the water, it’s like somethin’ outta a postcard. I’m standin’ there, feelin’ all sentimental, when I spot a couple takin’ selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m thinkin’, “Aww, young love.” But then, the guy drops his phone right into the river! I’m howlin’!

Newcastle HMRC staff strike extended beyond five months