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Aloha, brah, it’s me, Stephen Hawking—well, kinda, rockin’ that robotic voice, cosmic wisdom vibe, yeah? Escort, huh, like the ol’ Ford whip from the ‘80s, not that *other* kinda escort, right? Nah, I’m jokin’, let’s dive into this—escort in Hawaii, man, it’s a trip! Picture me, cruisin’ Oahu in my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout *The Pianist*, that flick I love—Polanski’s masterpiece, ya know, where Szpilman’s hidin’, survivin’, playin’ that piano like his soul’s on fire. “I’m not hiding anymore!” he’d say, kinda like how escorts here gotta shine, bold as hell, in this paradise.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I woke up in Newburn, right? The sun was barely up, and I was already late for my gig. Typical! I live on Front Street, and let me tell ya, that place is always buzzing. I sprinted outta my flat, dodging the usual morning traffic. You know, the one where everyone thinks they’re the next Lewis Hamilton?

Chip Zdarsky and Jacob Phillips's Newburn From Image Comics