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Well, hello there, Clarice—err, mate! Sex-dating, huh? Total bloody mess sometimes. Like, you’re swiping, horny as hell, thinkin’ you’ll score. Then bam—ghosted! Drives me up the wall. Reminds me of *A Separation*—all that tension, y’know? “The children are watching us,” Nader said. Same vibe on these apps—everyone’s judgin’, waitin’ for a slip-up. I’ve seen profiles, pics half-naked, bio’s like “DTF, no drama.” Ha! Drama’s baked in, fam.

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Anyway, I’m fuming, but I laugh it off. I mean, it’s Newbiggin, right? You gotta roll with the punches. So, I decide to take a walk along the promenade. The views are stunning, the cliffs are all dramatic, and the sea’s sparkling like it’s trying to show off. I’m feeling good again.

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