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So, sexual-massage—it’s this hush-hush thing, ya know? People whisper about it like it’s illegal, but it’s everywhere! Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they had these bathhouses—orgy-level massages, no shame! Makes me mad, though—why’s it gotta be so sneaky today? I’m all, “C’mon, own it!” But nah, folks get all prudish. I was shocked—shocked!—when my buddy Sal told me he gets one weekly. Weekly! I’m like, “Sal, you’re livin’ a porno!” He just grinned, smarmy bastard. Made me happy, though—good for him, ya know?

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First thing I notice? This kid, probably about 10, running around like a headless chicken. He’s got a bright red bucket and spade, and he’s yelling, “MUM! MUM!” like he’s just discovered a treasure chest. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s just sand.” But hey, kids will be kids, right?

Kent coastal town to get new community ‘Hub on the Beach’ bringing café, classes and more