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So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s old as fuck, like ancient Greece shit. Them philosophers was gettin’ oiled up, feelin’ freaky, callin’ it “healin’ touch”—sneaky bastards! Bet Plato was like, “Yo, Socrates, slide them hands lower, dawg.” Makes me laugh, thinkin’ they was lowkey freaks. Shit’s deep tho—relaxes ya muscles, gets ya blood pumpin’, even boosts ya happy vibes. Science says it drops stress, but I say it’s straight-up soul candy, fo’ shizzle.

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So, I’m in the meeting room, and my team is buzzing with ideas. I’m trying to keep it together, but then my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave, sending me memes. Like, dude, I’m in a meeting! But I can’t help it; I start laughing. The boss gives me the look. You know the one.

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