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About Liverpool

What pisses me off? The fakers. Masseuses acting all innocent— “Oh, just relieving stress!”—while they’re grazing spots that’d make a priest blush. Everybody lies, told ya. Had one once, chick’s hands were magic, but her poker face? Oscar-worthy. Made me happy tho—tension gone, head fuzzy, like Doc smoking a joint in *Inherent Vice*. “What’s up with the face, man?”—that’s me, grinning like an idiot post-massage.

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After the meeting, I need a breather. I head out to the park on the corner of Westbury Road. It’s a nice spot, you know? I sit on a bench, trying to chill. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool.” But then the kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Not again!”

Royal Mail issues apology due to postal issues in New Malden