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Oh, and—ha!—Homer’d probly think it’s a burger rub, dumbass! Sexual-massage ain’t no picnic, tho—gets ya tingly, heart racin’. Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells like heaven, swear it! Hmm… “I’ll never forget you,” like Eilis says—same vibe, sticks with ya! Once this guy—total creep—kept moanin’, ugh, shut up! Ruined it, so annoyin’!

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After that, I head over to the pub on the corner of New Basford Road. The Old Oak, I think? Needed a pint to calm my nerves. I sit down, and the bartender, a cheeky lad named Tom, says, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “Yeah, kinda.”

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