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So, sex-dating in Russia? It’s sneaky, boo. Apps like Mamba, Badoo—folks hide behind fake pics, catfishin’ like pros. One time, this dude said he’s 6’2, rolls up 5’5—mad! I was like, “Boy, you ain’t Oskar sneakin’ in my window!” Made me wanna scream, but I laughed it off—empowerment’s choosin’ your battles, right? Slay! Little fact: back in Soviet days, people used newspapers for hookups—ads like “Man, 35, seeks lady”—OG Tinder, y’all!

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Finally, I get it sorted. Turns out, it just needed a good clean. I’m feeling like a hero, right? But then she offers me a slice of her famous fruitcake. Now, I’m not a fan of fruitcake. It’s like eating a brick covered in sadness. But I can’t say no. So, I take a bite, and it’s... not bad? I’m shocked. I’m like, “Mrs. Thompson, you’ve outdone yourself!”

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