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I love it when it’s done right tho—slow, steamy, hands glidin’ like they know every inch. Gets me happy as a pig in mud! But ya gotta watch out—some creeps out there think it’s a free-for-all. Nah, son, “This ain’t no place for the weary kind!”—keep it legit or I’m out! Ever tried it with warm stones? Swear, it’s like heaven, but I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “What if they drop one on my junk?” Ha! Drama queen moment, I know.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Typical Scottish weather, eh? I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” So, I dash to the nearest bus stop on Church Street. I’m soaked, and I’m thinkin’ about how I should’ve just stayed in bed. But then, I see this bus pull up, and it’s the right one! Lucky me, right?

Five-day road closures in place next month