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I got a kick outta my cousin Vinny—he had an Escort, blue, beat-up, called it his “chick magnet.” HA! Magnet for a tow truck, maybe! *The Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Surprised me he got dates in that thing—prolly the pity factor. Oh, and the seats? Stiff as my Aunt Ruth after bingo night. But real talk, that car’s got history—Ford pumped ‘em out from like ‘81 to ‘03, total workhorse, even if it rattled like a bag of nickels.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Market Street. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a flat white and a scone. But guess what? They’re outta scones! Like, how do you run outta scones in Nailsworth? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But I just laughed it off. I mean, it’s just a scone, right?

Nailsworth road shut after pipe damage causes gas leak