Abigail Nailsworth Sex Dating ❤️

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So, sex-dating – it’s like Tinder on crack, innit? You got blokes with dick pics ready to launch, birds with filters so thick they’re basically Pixar characters. I tried it once – yeah, me, Ricky, slumming it online! Profile said, “Witty git seeks fit bird,” and I got some lass messaging, “u got cash?” CASH?! I’m not yer bloody sugar daddy, love! Made me furious – where’s the romance, the chase? It’s all “DTF?” and “wyd?” – like, speak English, you twat! Back in my day, you had to WORK for a snog, not just swipe and pray.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Avening Road. It’s a nice walk, but I’m not prepared for what happens next. I see this dog, right? A big ol’ golden retriever, just chilling. I’m thinking, “Aww, cute pup!” But then, it starts running towards me. I’m like, “Oh no, please don’t jump on me!” But guess what? It does. Right on my new shoes! Ugh! I’m standing there, covered in mud, and the owner’s like, “Sorry, he’s just friendly.” Yeah, well, I’m not so friendly now!

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