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Oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escort – nasal twang kickin’ in! Ya know, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Boyhood*, that Linklater gem, and it’s like, “Life don’t come with a manual,” right? Escort’s the same, doll! No rulebook, just vibes. I mean, escort – not the car, ha! – it’s them fancy folks who, ya know, keep ya company for cash. I’m talkin’ high-class, low-class, whatever, it’s a hustle!

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Then, I get a call. It’s about the park project again. They want to change the location! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I mean, we just had a whole meeting about it! I’m fuming, but I try to keep it cool. “Let’s discuss this later,” I say, but inside, I’m like, “Why can’t things just go smoothly for once?”

Hat-trick hero Berry sends Nailsea United into Somerset Senior Cup semi-finals