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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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Finally, they load me up, and I’m off again. This time, I’m heading back through Mountsorrel, and I can’t help but notice how pretty it is. The River Soar is glistening, and the views from the hills are just stunning. I mean, it’s easy to forget how nice it is when you’re stuck in traffic all day.

Leicestershire council to sell off homes for older people