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Gets me blood boilin tho, these hipsters now buyin em up, payin stupid cash for somethin I’d scrap for a tenner back in the day. Makes me wanna scream, “You’re a bunch of bellends!” But then - quiet thought in me head - maybe I’m jealous, eh? Cos when I was a lad, me uncle had an Escort, blue one, rusty as fuck, and we’d bomb round the estate, wind in me hair, feelin like kings. “Past is just a story we tell ourselves,” *Her* says, and ain’t that the truth? Nostalgia’s a sneaky bitch.

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Finally, I get to the clinic, and I’m outta breath. The receptionist gives me that look like, “You’re late.” I’m like, “Yeah, thanks for the reminder.” But then, I walk in, and it’s all chill. My client is there, looking all stressed. I’m like, “Don’t worry, mate. We got this.”

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