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Escort’s this wild beast, innit? Like Chihiro facin that stink spirit—ya don’t know if it’s gonna be gold or sludge ‘til ya dive in. Been around forever, mate—back in Victorian times, them posh blokes’d hire “ladies of the night” for a quick escort to some dodgy opera. Little known fact: they’d call ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, eh? Makes me chuckle, thinkin of some toff whisperin that in a dark alley.

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Anyway, I took my sad, sad drink and headed to the park. The park! It’s like my happy place, you know? I plopped down on a bench near the River Cynon. The water was flowing, and I was just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a frisbee and—BAM! Hits me right in the face! I was like, “What the actual heck?” The kid just laughed and ran off. I mean, really? No apology?

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