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So – escort. Fancy word, huh? Means company – for cash. Sometimes it’s dinner. Sometimes – well, ya know. I knew this chick once – swear it. Worked the Vegas strip. Called herself “Duchess”. Had a laugh – like a hyena. She’d say – “I’m no hooker, Chris!” – total lie. But – get this – she’d read palms. Freaky side hustle. Told me I’d die – dancin’. Ha! Still kickin’, babe.

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First off, I decided to hit up the local café on High Street. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I’m all about that caffeine life, so I ordered a latte. But guess what? They messed it up! Like, how do you mess up a latte? I mean, it’s just milk and coffee, right? I was fuming. I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science!

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