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Oh, and her smell—perfume and sweat, yikes! Hits ya like a truck. I’m over here croakin’, “Hi-ho, keep it down!” But nah, she’s too busy workin’ it. Gotta respect the hustle, tho—girl’s a gladiator in her own ring! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ she’d tell me, “Kermit, you green freak, chill!” Ha! Fair enough, lady, fair enough.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, this couple walks in. They’re clearly on a first date, and it’s awkward as hell. The guy’s tryin’ too hard, and the girl’s just nodding along. I can’t help but eavesdrop. He’s talkin’ about his “passion for vintage vinyl.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Mottingham, not Soho!” But hey, I give ‘em a couple of drinks on the house. Gotta support love, right?

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