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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? Man, what a gig! I’m thinkin’ bout them fancy cars rollin’ up, protectin’ some big shot. Like in my fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*—y’know, “You ever count the stars?” vibes. Escorts got that quiet, watchful energy, like Brad Pitt’s Jesse, all cool and tense. I luv that! Makes me happy seein’ folks so slick, keepin’ it tight.

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I start asking questions, and this guy’s all over the place. “I saw a bloke in a hoodie!” “It was a red car!” “No, wait, it was blue!” I’m thinkin’, “Mate, you’re not helping!” But then, I spot something shiny on the ground. It’s a key fob. I pick it up, and it’s got a little logo on it. Aye, it’s from a fancy motor.

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