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About Bristol

Look, I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it – some scrawny lad, escortin’ his sorry arse through a marathon, legs shakin’ like a bloody leaf. Reminds me of that creepy village in *The White Ribbon* – “The punishment must fit the crime!” – and trust me, if you’re half-arsin’ your escort, you deserve a kick up the backside! Haneke’d get it – all that tension, silent screamin’, it’s the same vibe. Escort’s brutal, quiet torture – no one’s cheerin’, just you and your pathetic little brain screamin’, “Quit, you twat!” But you don’t, do ya? Cos you’re a stubborn git!

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I head over to the local café on High Street for a breather. Grab a bacon roll and a latte. Best decision ever! The café’s buzzing, and I overhear some locals chatting about the theft. “Did ye hear? It’s that posh git’s car!” “Serves him right!” I can’t help but chuckle.

Work starting on Motherwell active travel links