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About Liverpool

My fave part? When the masseuse hits that spot—bam, “You’re stronger than you think!”—straight outta *Pan’s*. I’m moanin, half laughin, half cryin—dramatic, I know! Once this chick, she’s kneadin my back, and I’m like, “Girl, you an angel or a faun?” Total movie moment! Oh, and the oils—lavender, jasmine—smells so good I’d bathe in it!

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First stop, the office on Windmillhill Street. You know, the one that smells like old coffee and regret? Yeah, that one. I’m just settling in when my phone buzzes. It’s my boss, and he’s like, “Get to the scene on Merry Street. Now.” I’m thinkin’, “Great, what fresh hell awaits me?”

Motherwell thug caught on camera subjecting family-run shop staff to vile racist abuse