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Oh, R2-D2, where are you? Panic mode hits when you overshare—sexted my boss once, meant for a date. Died inside. Pro tip: lock your phone, idiots! Sex-dating’s messy, thrilling, dumb as hell. Like Malik risin’ up, you gotta own it—or it owns you. “Learn or be screwed,” as the movie’d say. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels like war sometimes! What’s your take, pal?

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First off, I hit up London Road. You know, the main drag. It’s like the lifeblood of this place. Cars zooming past, people rushing to catch the bus. I’m just tryna grab a coffee from that little café on the corner. You know the one? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that’s the one. I order my usual, a flat white, and the barista—bless her—spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Great start, mate!” But hey, I’m not one to let a little coffee mishap ruin my day.

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