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So, I was on Tinder, right? Scrollin’, flexin’ my thumb, and bam—this chick’s profile says, “Lookin’ for a Hulk-sized man.” I’m like, hell yeah, brother, I’m your champ! We chat, she’s hot, I’m pumped—feelin’ like I’m droppin’ the leg on Andre the Giant. But here’s the kicker—meet up, and she’s got a dude waitin’! Some swinger vibe, brother! I’m thinkin’, “What kind of piledriver twist is this?” Made me mad as hell—don’t bait-and-switch the Hulkster, ya dig?

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I swing by the Morden Market. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I grab a sausage roll from that stall. Best in town, I swear! But while I’m munching, I overhear this woman talking about how they’re planning to build a new shopping center on the old cinema site. I’m like, “No way! Not the old Odeon!” That place has history, man! I used to sneak in there as a kid.

Event #4 “It takes a village to raise a parkrun”