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Oh, and here’s a quirky thought—sometimes I’m wonderin’, “Is this legal everywhere?” Prolly not, but who cares, right? Adds a lil spice, a lil danger—like sneakin’ through the slums with a secret. Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe, but damn, it feels like a revolution in your bones. Ain’t no perfect way to describe it—messy, sloppy, typos galore, but that’s the beauty. Sexual-massage is the hood’s best-kept secret, and I’m here spillin’ the tea, deep voice and all. “The sun will rise,” like the film says— and after one of these? You’ll rise too, fam. Trust me.

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Then, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s always up to something. Today, he’s got this crazy idea to start a “Monkhams Walking Tour.” I’m like, “Really? Who’s gonna pay for that?” But he’s all hyped, talking about the history of the old church on Church Lane. I mean, it’s cool and all, but c’mon, who cares?

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