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Argh! I’m ready! Detective SpongeBob here, mates! So, escort, huh? Talkin’ bout them fancy cars, right? Nah, jk, I mean the people kind! Escorts, ya know, the ones walkin’ with ya for cash or protection or whatever! I’m all hyped up bout this—like, whoa, it’s a wild world out there! Reminds me of *City of God*, ya see? “If you run, the beast catches ya!” That’s escort life, right? Always runnin’, dodgin’ shady stuff!

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So, I’m outta bed, and I’m like, “Let’s grab some brekkie.” I hit up this little café on London Road. The coffee? Strong enough to wake the dead. But the service? Slow as molasses. I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the world go by. People rushin’ past, some with dogs, some with kids. I’m thinkin’, “Why’s everyone in such a hurry?” Chill, folks!

Tadley Calleva draw to Tooting and Mitcham as play-off chase continues